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Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
- Journal-is-Me
- Dec 24, 2019
- 3 min read
Author : Gabriela Priscila
I closed the pages of my favorite poetry book that I’ve probably read a thousand times before. I let out a heavy sigh and glanced at the clock on my bedside table, it’s 09.00 P.M already. The room was getting cold and I know exactly what would make me feel better. Getting out of the warmth of my fuzzy blankets, I made my way to the kitchen.
Some hot chocolate would be great.
I grabbed my special mug that I only use for some occasions. It has “Special Mug” written on it. Then, I boil some water. I realized I still have some unopened food that I ordered earlier tonight. I probably forgot them because I wasn’t hungry. I quickly put them in the microwave to reheat them. I lean to the fridge, waiting for my water to boil, starring at nothing but my empty apartment.
I look at the small empty living room with only one small sofa and a TV in front of it. I see the opened door to my dark bedroom. Then a little light seeps through the door of my bathroom.
The microwave dings at the same time as my water. I made myself a cup of hot choco and prepare my meal on the small dining table. Holding on to my mug, I looked out the window.
The streets were filled with bright lights. It’s so cold, yet so warm outside. They even have small Christmas trees on the sidewalk. Laughs and carols could be heard as I pressed my ear closer to the window. It’s all so jolly and full of happiness. Some people are walking together, holding hands, with their matching red outfits. Some kids slipped on the snow and their parents picked them up. Some adults also slipped, but they play it cool as if it never happened.
Right… it’s Christmas Eve…
Living alone is hard enough, but living alone AND living far from your family at the same time is torture. Not being able to go home at such a joyful holiday sometimes makes you feel alone and left out. You can’t help but feel jealous when you see some families having dinner at the restaurant across where you work, or not being able to go anywhere with anyone because your friends spend their time with their family too.
I peeled my gaze off of the happy world outside and grabbed my phone.
Maybe some music will help.
Since it’s Christmas, I opened my spotify and play one of my favorite playlists. Michael Buble’s voice filled the room. The room suddenly felt warm with Christmas spirit. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas,” Buble sang. I found myself swaying to the melody, moving my body slowly, and singing along to the lyrics. “Let your heart be light… from now on our troubles will be out of sight,” I sang lowly.
My eyes gazed to a photo of my family in a frame that I put right next to the TV. Still accompanied by Buble’s warm voice, I grabbed the photo and set it across my plate on the dining table. I put my hot chocolate beside my plate and sat down on the wooden chair.
I stare at my family photo and look at their faces one by one. My dad, my mom, and my older brother. I chuckled as I remember how annoying they are when I’m home. Dad is always so unfunny, mom is always so mad at everything, and my brother… he’s my brother, of course brothers are annoying. I remembered the Christmas dinners we usually had on Christmas Eve, before my brother and I live alone. I smiled at the memories of silly jokes we tell at moments like this, or some gift exchange we do with the whole big family, or going to church together. Just spending time with family, sharing our love, I miss it.
I closed my eyes slowly
And pray.
Our Father in heaven,
Dear, God,
I am thankful for everything this Christmas Eve.
For being healthy, for finishing my final exam, for being taken care of, for being where I am right now.
I am thankful for my study.
I am thankful for my job.
I am thankful for the friends that stick by my side.
I am thankful for such a great family.
Even though, I can’t be with them, may they have a beautiful time this Christmas Eve.
Please, bless them with Your love.
Thank you, God,
Amen.
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